Ahmadinejad — What a Guy! (And Other Silliness)
Impish elf Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, sometimes known as the President of Iran, says he’s going to grant a “unilateral pardon” to two American hikers whom the Iranians recently convicted of espionage for some reason that defies all conventional logic. Quoth the pungent little troll:
“This is a unilateral pardon, of course, on behalf of the Iranian nation,” he said.
The Americans, Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal, both 29, were arrested along with another American, Sarah Shourd, while they were hiking along the Iran-Iraq border two years ago. In August, Bauer and Fattal were sentenced to eight years in prison. … Masoud Shafiei, a lawyer representing the hikers, said he had been told by court officials that each of them would have to pay $500,000 in bail … .
(Read the whole story at the Washington Post.)
Okay, three things, y’all:
- You can’t really say it’s a “unilateral pardon” when you’re asking for a million dollars. Where I come from, that’s called a “ransom.” It involves something called “give and take” or “quid pro quo.” Not unilateral, and not a pardon.
- A million dollars? Who is Ahmadinejad, Dr. Evil? Oh, right.
- While the Iranians are letting people out of prison for bullcrap convictions, we Americans are proudly doing the opposite by packing our jails for even stupider things:
Eight members of a traditional Amish sect were behind bars on Tuesday after refusing to pay fines for failure to display orange-red safety triangles on their horse-drawn buggies.
The eight were being held in the Graves County Jail, serving sentences ranging between three and 10 days for failing to pay the fines on religious grounds.
(Read story here.) And there you have it.