Okay, Fester has had his share of problems with government-spec commodes. We all know the issue of using too much tissue — ‘nuf said. But now, things have really gotten out of control. Andrew Mollenbeck from wtop.com reports:
A toilet reportedly exploded Monday and injured a woman at the General Services Administration Building in D.C.
The D.C. Fire and EMS Department confirms a woman went to the hospital with serious but non-life-threatening injuries.
Okay, let me stop right there. I don’t want to think about the injuries that might arise from an exploding toilet. Yet I must. I picture that poor lady just sitting there, minding her own bidness, maybe doing a Sudoku. The restroom is quiet, the surroundings comfortable, when BLAM! — the very ground beneath her seems to erupt as shards of porcelain fire upwards and ricochet off her butt-cheeks and the walls of the stall. At the same time, all support gives way and she goes crashing to the floor, back end first. Maybe her head hits the wall. And the mess. Oh, the terrible mess.
Continuing with the story:
“The GSA National Capital Regional Office Building experienced a building mechanical incident, which we understand may have resulted in injuries,” a GSA statement reads.
Channel 9 (WUSA) reports a memo made the rounds in the GSA building, warning people not to flush.
“Do NOT flush toilets or use any domestic water,” Channel 9 quotes the memo as saying.
“Due to a mechanical failure, there is high air pressure in the domestic water system that resulted in damage to toilets … There has been damage to flushed toilets that has resulted in injuries.”
Read the whole story here.
So, what we have here is a government-owned one-holer blowing a bunch of porcelain shrapnel who knows where, causing unspecified injuries. Geez. We used to want the government out of our bedrooms. Now I can think of another place. Take care of your old toilets, folks. They may be the best friends you have.