The Morning Spew

The Crying Pimp Lady (Credit: UnionLeader.com)

This OWS experiment is fascinating.  It’s like being in a laboratory and watching Animal Farm and Lord of the Flies unfold before our very eyes. Just for those of you keeping score at home, here are some of the very latest dispatches from the OWS frontier. Remember, this is what leftism looks like.

From the Depravity File:

• In Manchester NH, a now-tearful occupier (see photo above) has taken to pimping out teenage girls.  (Union Leader)
• Occupy Madison can’t renew its permit because too many people complained about “inappropriate behavior, such as public masturbation, from street protesters.”  (The Daily Cardinal)

From the Socialism Doesn’t Work file:

• Zuccotti Park occupiers are running out of other people’s money.  (NY Post)
• A similar story is unfolding in Portland, where occupiers may be stealing money from their own PayPal account.  (Oregon Live)
• In London, we see complete fakery:  it turns out that almost no one actually sleeps in all those tents.  (Daily Mail)
• Boston occupiers are bogarting the public restrooms — asking for handouts, leeching electricity, and generally soiling the joint. (Boston Herald)
• San Francisco occupiers take a different approach to bathrooms, singing  ”If you can’t be with the loo you love, crap in the street you’re with.”  (Penny)

From the Violent Little Crybabies file:

• Zuccotti Park occupiers have taken to attacking each other and starting scuffles with the police.  (USA Today)
• Speaking of the coppers, Boston occupiers are suspected of threatening Boston police. (Boston.com)
• Chicago occupiers go full anti-Semite.  (Big Journalism)
• Occupiers in Oakland clash with police (Washington Post), prompting a serious rebuke from one impotently raged dorkpile (YouTube)

People, these stories keep coming out at a rapid clip, so it’s really hard to keep up.  But never fear.  One of our favorite blogs has neatly summarized the whole thing in song, and is running a music video challenge — check it out!

Wow, the Ben & Jerry’s contest was fun.  So fun, in fact, that we want to jump right into another reader challenge.  This time, it’s all about the video.

Here’s the deal.  Fester has written you a little ditty about the Occupy Wall Street goons, and has recorded it.  It’s called “We Gonna Occupy.”  (Guess what it’s about.  No really.  Guess dammit!)

The thing is, we have no video.  Well, okay, we have a video, but it does nothing but flash the lyrics:

We want something funny.  Something scary.  Something funny and scary.  And that’s where you — the most clever readers on the Worldwide Web — come in.

First, watch the video.  You’ve probably done that already, so you already know that Fester ain’t no Sinatra, and he ain’t no Edward Van Halen.  But he’s a damn sight better than these commie wastes of skin.

Second, download the mp3 version of the song here.  (Windows users, do the right-click “Save link as” thing.  Mac users, do whatever it is you people do.)

Third, use the song to make a music video.  When you’re done, upload it to YouTube and send us a link at tips@TheMorningSpew.com.  We’ll review it and, if it meets our ground rules below, we’ll post it here and ensure your immortality.

The first three people to get their videos posted will win a coveted t-shirt from The Morning Spew.  (Look, if we had the money, we’d buy you a new Ferrari.  But we’re not George Soros, people.)  That said, we’ll continue to post videos as long as people want to send them in.  Later submissions might not get a t-shirt, but if we post your video, you will receive immortality, high praise, and our undying gratitude.

A few ground rules:

• No nudity, unless you blur it out or otherwise obscure it. (We’re not prudes here, but still.)
• No racism, sexism, etc., unless you’re exposing racism, sexism, etc. by the occupiers.
• Don’t violate anyone’s copyrights — give credit when appropriate and adhere to fair-use principles.
• And most importantly, you must put our URL (www.TheMorningSpew.com) at the beginning and end of the video.  You can also give credit to yourself and anyone else, but we gotsta have that URL.

Other than that, you have total creative control.  Now go forth and make music videos!  Fester sez enjoy!  

"You people are killing me!"

Fester has previously documented the Democrats’ growing disdain for the American public.  To recap: we’ve heard unions call for “taking out” the SOBs in the Tea Party; President Øbama fancying himself a middle-class warrior and calling for what sounded a lot like a race war; Van Jones threatening widespread revolt; and Roseanne Barr saying bankers should be sent to reeducation camps and possibly beheaded.  Along the way, we’ve experienced the offensive hippie offensive known as Occupy Whatever.  These events range from ridiculous to disturbing.  But the most serious development of all has been the emerging Democrat theme that voters are standing in the way of real progress, y’all.   And today we learn that the Dems’ theme continues to develop.

Read more…

Here’s a telling video from “Occupy Atlanta.”  It’s so weird on every level.  First, there’s the bizarre practice of having the crowd repeat everything the speaker says.  It’s like a cult — or the Borg.  As the video description says:  ”People abandoned their individuality and liberty to be absorbed into a hypnotizing collective.”  They weren’t even allowed to vote — instead, they had to express their “feelings” with “hand signs,” which the predictably unmanly leader was then free to interpret how he saw fit.

Second, there’s the fact that Congressman John Lewis came to speak to the group — and the “consensus” (as interpreted by the leader) was that he should just go away.  Now just imagine what the media would have reported if this had been a Tea Party.  Third, around the 8:30 mark, someone dissents.  Immediately the leader shouts him down by repeatedly yelling “Mic check!  Mic check!” as the well-programmed crowd again parrots his every word.

Watch the whole thing and prepare to be creeped out.  There is no way in hell that these people represent any more than a fraction of a percent of the U.S. population, let alone 99%.  LOL.

The American Left

How desperate are the Democrats right now?  As they watch their popularity tank because they are so head-scratchingly incompetent, they seem to be fomenting some kind of communist revolution/freak show.  What losers.  When the going gets tough, they lose their cool and start preaching violence.

Fester thought it would be a good time to recap what’s been happening over the last month or so.  It seems there’s a theme developing.  To-wit:

Read more…

Protecting you from the evils of modern finance.

This weekend, the usual bunch of ne’er-do-wells once again failed to teach the world to sing (probably because they smoke too much weed).  Apparently unable to take control of their own finances — and in search of some serious munchies — “hundreds” of smelly, inebriated social misfits decided they’d have a go at shutting down Wall Street.  Because, you know, if everyone can’t be wealthy, no one can.

One big problem, though.  As the NY Times reports, they planned their little anti-commercial offensive for Saturday, which no es bueno:

Read more…

People don’t act like this unless they’re in Damn Serious Trouble.

I'm gonna give you such a PINCH!

From Real Clear Politics:

Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa had some profane, combative words for Republicans while warming up the crowd for President Obama in Detroit, Michigan on Monday.

“We got to keep an eye on the battle that we face: The war on workers. And you see it everywhere, it is the Tea Party.

*  *  *

“President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let’s take these son of bitches out and give America back to an America where we belong,” Hoffa added.

Childish and desperate.  Miss Hoffa, your father must be very proud!

Meanwhile, Obama votes “present” as the White House declines comment.  And see how the Chair of the DNC tap-dances to avoid condemning her homey!