A beef rib-eye steak bearing the uncanny likeness of Secretary of State John Kerry has been discovered by a man preparing for a backyard barbecue. The owner of the miraculous meat, who wishes to remain anonymous, reports that at about 7:00 pm this evening he removed a pre-wrapped package of boneless rib-eye steaks (that had fallen off a truck earlier in the day) from his refrigerator. As the lucky griller unwrapped the errant steaks, he realized that staring back at him from one of the more oddly shaped steaks was the face of Secretary of State John Kerry.
After contacting the news media, the anonymous man hopes to go on tour with his story. The John Kerry Boneless Rib-Eye will be sent to a government laboratory for authenticity testing and tasting.