The Morning Spew » impotent rage http://themorningspew.com Politics, Satire & Spew Sun, 08 Dec 2013 06:28:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.8.1 OWS: Putting the “Fun” in “Dysfunction” http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/29/ows-putting-the-fun-in-dysfunction/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/29/ows-putting-the-fun-in-dysfunction/#comments Sat, 29 Oct 2011 14:17:44 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=3067 Pimp Lady

The Crying Pimp Lady (Credit: UnionLeader.com)

This OWS experiment is fascinating.  It’s like being in a laboratory and watching Animal Farm and Lord of the Flies unfold before our very eyes. Just for those of you keeping score at home, here are some of the very latest dispatches from the OWS frontier. Remember, this is what leftism looks like.

From the Depravity File:

From the Socialism Doesn’t Work file:

From the Violent Little Crybabies file:

People, these stories keep coming out at a rapid clip, so it’s really hard to keep up.  But never fear.  One of our favorite blogs has neatly summarized the whole thing in song, and is running a music video challenge — check it out!

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New Reader Challenge – Make a Music Video! http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/19/new-reader-challenge-make-a-music-video/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/19/new-reader-challenge-make-a-music-video/#comments Wed, 19 Oct 2011 12:00:27 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=2347 Wow, the Ben & Jerry’s contest was fun.  So fun, in fact, that we want to jump right into another reader challenge.  This time, it’s all about the video.

Here’s the deal.  Fester has written you a little ditty about the Occupy Wall Street goons, and has recorded it.  It’s called “We Gonna Occupy.”  (Guess what it’s about.  No really.  Guess dammit!)

The thing is, we have no video.  Well, okay, we have a video, but it does nothing but flash the lyrics:

We want something funny.  Something scary.  Something funny and scary.  And that’s where you — the most clever readers on the Worldwide Web — come in.

First, watch the video.  You’ve probably done that already, so you already know that Fester ain’t no Sinatra, and he ain’t no Edward Van Halen.  But he’s a damn sight better than these commie wastes of skin.

Second, download the mp3 version of the song here.  (Windows users, do the right-click “Save link as” thing.  Mac users, do whatever it is you people do.)

Third, use the song to make a music video.  When you’re done, upload it to YouTube and send us a link at tips@TheMorningSpew.com.  We’ll review it and, if it meets our ground rules below, we’ll post it here and ensure your immortality.

The first three people to get their videos posted will win a coveted t-shirt from The Morning Spew.  (Look, if we had the money, we’d buy you a new Ferrari.  But we’re not George Soros, people.)  That said, we’ll continue to post videos as long as people want to send them in.  Later submissions might not get a t-shirt, but if we post your video, you will receive immortality, high praise, and our undying gratitude.

A few ground rules:

  • No nudity, unless you blur it out or otherwise obscure it. (We’re not prudes here, but still.)
  • No racism, sexism, etc., unless you’re exposing racism, sexism, etc. by the occupiers.
  • Don’t violate anyone’s copyrights — give credit when appropriate and adhere to fair-use principles.
  • And most importantly, you must put our URL (www.TheMorningSpew.com) at the beginning and end of the video.  You can also give credit to yourself and anyone else, but we gotsta have that URL.

Other than that, you have total creative control.  Now go forth and make music videos!  Fester sez enjoy!  

 

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Why Do Democrat Politicians Hate Voters? http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/11/why-do-democrat-politicians-hate-voters/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/11/why-do-democrat-politicians-hate-voters/#comments Wed, 12 Oct 2011 02:00:18 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=1990 Angry Obama

"You people are killing me!"

Fester has previously documented the Democrats’ growing disdain for the American public.  To recap: we’ve heard unions call for “taking out” the SOBs in the Tea Party; President Øbama fancying himself a middle-class warrior and calling for what sounded a lot like a race war; Van Jones threatening widespread revolt; and Roseanne Barr saying bankers should be sent to reeducation camps and possibly beheaded.  Along the way, we’ve experienced the offensive hippie offensive known as Occupy Whatever.  These events range from ridiculous to disturbing.  But the most serious development of all has been the emerging Democrat theme that voters are standing in the way of real progress, y’all.   And today we learn that the Dems’ theme continues to develop.

As we’ve noted before, Obama’s former OMB Director Peter Orszag recently wrote a column in The New Republic proposing that we “counter the gridlock of our political institutions by making them a bit less democratic.”  Then, a couple of weeks later, North Carolina’s Democrat Governor Deb Perdue proposed suspending Congressional elections for two years – presumably so that Congress could enact more cramdown legislation without having to worry about We the People.

And now, as reported in The Hill, we have Democrat Steny Hoyer lamenting that the voters have made very, very naughty decisions and are now receiving their well-deserved spanking:

“The American people have every right to be angry [and] disappointed by the performance of the Congress,” Hoyer told reporters in the Capitol. “Of course, the American people have also elected people with hard stances, so that to some degree the American people are realizing the results of their votes.

“If elections have consequences — which I think they do — some of those consequences are getting what you vote for,” Hoyer added. “In this case, many people voted for people who thought compromise was not something that they ought to participate in.”

Translation:  ”Stupid voters!  Next time vote for more liberals so that we don’t have to deal with such … such principle!”  Read the whole story here.

So by their own admission, Democrats despise voters — well, except the dead ones.  We’ll hear more of this elitist drivel over the next 13 months.   Let’s all give Steny his wish and end the gridlock by ejecting any remaining leftist bilge from the halls of Congress.

 

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The 99%? Aw, Hell No! http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/10/the-99-aw-hell-no/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/10/the-99-aw-hell-no/#comments Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:07:02 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=1854 Here’s a telling video from “Occupy Atlanta.”  It’s so weird on every level.  First, there’s the bizarre practice of having the crowd repeat everything the speaker says.  It’s like a cult — or the Borg.  As the video description says:  ”People abandoned their individuality and liberty to be absorbed into a hypnotizing collective.”  They weren’t even allowed to vote — instead, they had to express their “feelings” with “hand signs,” which the predictably unmanly leader was then free to interpret how he saw fit.

Second, there’s the fact that Congressman John Lewis came to speak to the group — and the “consensus” (as interpreted by the leader) was that he should just go away.  Now just imagine what the media would have reported if this had been a Tea Party.  Third, around the 8:30 mark, someone dissents.  Immediately the leader shouts him down by repeatedly yelling “Mic check!  Mic check!” as the well-programmed crowd again parrots his every word.

Watch the whole thing and prepare to be creeped out.  There is no way in hell that these people represent any more than a fraction of a percent of the U.S. population, let alone 99%.  LOL.

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Of Communist Dog Whistles http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/02/of-communist-dog-whistles/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/10/02/of-communist-dog-whistles/#comments Mon, 03 Oct 2011 02:55:07 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=1649 Waaah

The American Left

 

How desperate are the Democrats right now?  As they watch their popularity tank because they are so head-scratchingly incompetent, they seem to be fomenting some kind of communist revolution/freak show.  What losers.  When the going gets tough, they lose their cool and start preaching violence.

Fester thought it would be a good time to recap what’s been happening over the last month or so.  It seems there’s a theme developing.  To-wit:

  1. Fester’s ears started perking up when Little Jimmy Hoffa said it was time to “take out” the Tea Party.
  2. Twelve days later, hilarity ensued when smelly hippies first descended on Wall Street — or as close as their addled minds could take them — for a Day of Impotent Rage.  Of course, by this point, this largely looked like a bunch of loose cannons.  Surely the Øbama administration would distance itself.
  3. Doh!  A few days later, President Obama declared that he was a warrior for the middle class.  His choice of language sure started to take on a martial tone.  But surely this was an isolated incident and we were all overreacting.  Right?
  4. Wrong.  A few days after that, Obama basically told African-Americans that they’re lazy and that they need to march against certain other folks who are fighting him every step of the way.  Fester asked whether Obama was inciting a race war.  Because, given Obama’s previous statements that certain other folks were trying to “turn back the clock,” that’s what it sure sounded like.
  5. Meanwhile, other Democrats were openly proposing that the government strip us of our rights to vote.  Specifically, North Carolina’s Democrat Governor Deb Perdue proposed suspending Congressional elections for two years so that someone could impose their will without those pesky voters.  This was essentially an echo of Democrat OMB Director Peter Orszag’s column a couple of weeks prior proposing that we ”counter the gridlock of our political institutions by making them a bit less democratic.”
  6. Over the next few days, Penny reported on more Wall Street Days of Rage (and more hilarity).
  7. A couple of days ago, noted commie douchebag Van Jones promised that the “progressives” in this nation would take to the streets in an American version of the Arab Spring — an “October offensive,” he called it.
  8. And speaking of offensive, famous oxygen thief/surgically-altered heifer Roseanne Barr now wants to behead bankers if they resist “paying back” anything over $100 million.  Of course, she’s pretty magnanimous about it, since she’d give them a chance to undergo “reeducation camp” first.

Class warfare?  Suspending elections?  Violence?  Reeducation camps?  Where have we heard this kind of rhetoric before?  Hint:  We’ve never heard this from the Tea Party.  One more hint:  We’ve always heard this from the communists.  

If you find yourself backing this cabal — which stretches from the hippies of New York all the way to the White House — you need to take a very good look at yourself, because you’re a freaking communist.  A great many Americans died to prevent the very thing these Democrats are advocating:  i.e., blaming a small segment of society for their woes, taking their wealth by force, and now, literally killing those whom they illogically blame for pretty much everything.  It’s absolutely okay to question their patriotism.  Despite what they say, they’re not the “99%.”  They’re not the “80%.”  They’re not even the 10%.  They’re the 1% — the filthy, lazy, violent, godless anti-intellectual losers who have no idea what it means to be an American and honestly think “liberty” is just a word.

Fester will leave you with these oft-quoted words from the late, great Robert Heinlein, describing the “rich” people whom communists so despise:

Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty.

This is known as “bad luck.”

Oh, one more thing.  If you’re really thinking that violence is the way to go, remember that other “revolutions” have never had to deal with the Second Amendment.  Something to consider.

 

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Day of Impotent Rage Brings Many Laughs http://themorningspew.com/2011/09/18/day-of-impotent-rage-brings-many-laughs/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/09/18/day-of-impotent-rage-brings-many-laughs/#comments Mon, 19 Sep 2011 03:45:43 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=1101 hippie

Protecting you from the evils of modern finance.

This weekend, the usual bunch of ne’er-do-wells once again failed to teach the world to sing (probably because they smoke too much weed).  Apparently unable to take control of their own finances — and in search of some serious munchies — “hundreds” of smelly, inebriated social misfits decided they’d have a go at shutting down Wall Street.  Because, you know, if everyone can’t be wealthy, no one can.

One big problem, though.  As the NY Times reports, they planned their little anti-commercial offensive for Saturday, which no es bueno:

For months the protesters had planned to descend on Wall Street on a Saturday and occupy parts of it as an expression of anger over a financial system that they say favors the rich and powerful at the expense of ordinary citizens.

As it turned out, the demonstrators found much of their target off limits on Saturday as the city shut down sections of Wall Street near the New York Stock Exchange and Federal Hall well before their arrival.

(Emphasis added.  Read the rest here.)

Ha ha, these mental giants planned their killer super-idiotic protest for months, and it never dawned on them that the major exchanges would be closed on their big day and it’d be pretty easy to make them go away.  This begs a question:  If they know so little about the financial system they claim to despise, why should anyone entertain their silly grievances?

But aggrieved they were, and very serious, too.  They spent the entire day being all strategic and tactical, maneuvering to finally get in place for the big climax.  And the payoff was sweet indeed:

As a chilly darkness descended, a few hundred people realized one of the day’s objectives by setting foot onto Wall Street after a quick march through winding streets, trailed by police scooters.

At William Street, they were blocked from proceeding toward the stock exchange, and the march ended in front of a Greek Revival building housing Cipriani Wall Street. Patrons on a second-floor balcony peered down.

As some of the patrons laughed and raised drinks, the protesters responded by pointing at them and chanting “pay your share.”

How pathetic is this?  Laughably pathetic.  Ridiculously pathetic.  Embarrassingly pathetic.  Not only are these folks incapable of planning a good protest, they can’t muster more than a few hundred people in America’s largest city.  And they were so fearsome that the NYPD followed them on scooters while bar patrons laughed at them.  Not very impressive.

Perhaps they should go back to what they do best:

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And I Shall Kick Thy Hiney As Well! http://themorningspew.com/2011/09/06/and-i-shall-kick-thy-hiney-as-well/ http://themorningspew.com/2011/09/06/and-i-shall-kick-thy-hiney-as-well/#comments Tue, 06 Sep 2011 14:11:12 +0000 http://themorningspew.com/?p=456 People don’t act like this unless they’re in Damn Serious Trouble.
05c1-angry_man_image

I'm gonna give you such a PINCH!

From Real Clear Politics:

Teamsters President Jimmy Hoffa had some profane, combative words for Republicans while warming up the crowd for President Obama in Detroit, Michigan on Monday.

“We got to keep an eye on the battle that we face: The war on workers. And you see it everywhere, it is the Tea Party.

*  *  *

“President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let’s take these son of bitches out and give America back to an America where we belong,” Hoffa added.

Childish and desperate.  Miss Hoffa, your father must be very proud!

Meanwhile, Obama votes “present” as the White House declines comment.  And see how the Chair of the DNC tap-dances to avoid condemning her homey!

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