The Morning Spew » jobs speech Politics, Satire & Spew Sun, 08 Dec 2013 06:28:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Obama’s Department of Energy sends American jobs to Finland Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:00:42 +0000  




Truly amazing!!!   The ineptness and failures of this administration are beyond belief.




The Department of Energy is standing by a $529 million loan guarantee to a company building an electric car line in Finland.

A department official, in a lengthy response posted on a government blog Thursday night, confirmed that the company Fisker is assembling its Karma electric car at its “overseas facility.”


Read more:

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Won’t Someone Do This at the Next Major Jobs Speech? Sat, 24 Sep 2011 04:17:12 +0000 Actress Kim Delaney escorted offstage after Teleprompter malfunction induces uncontrolled rambling at Liberty Medal Ceremony.  This reminds me of someone … who could it be?


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With Obama, It’s Middle Class or No Class at All Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:54:56 +0000 obama-samurai

Working-class ninja.

“Hey everybody, the Republicans say I’m engaging in class warfare!  Ha ha, silly Republicans.  BTW you guys, I’m a warrior for the middle class!”

So went President Obama’s recent speech in Cincinnati.  See the video here, at RealClearPolitics.  Let’s put aside the internal incoherence of Obama’s argument.  Let’s put aside the shameless and painfully obvious pandering that’s going on here.  Let’s look at the record instead.

Remember the time when the Obama administration didn’t raid the Gibson Guitar factories?  Remember how the craftsmen weren’t idled, and middle-class employees weren’t threatened with jail time?  Remember when Obama didn’t suggest that Joe the Plumber would  suddenly become rich once his business made more than $250K a year, and that he’d need to spread the “wealth” around?  Remember how well the middle class fared when Obama kept making speeches while unemployment didn’t stagnate and middle-class people had a nearly unprecedented number of new jobs?  Remember how Obama didn’t want to limit or obliterate the home-mortgage deduction on federal income taxes?  Remember when Obama didn’t seek to impose crushing overregulation on businesses, so they could hire more middle-class workers and lower unemployment?  Remember when Obama’s policies didn’t create such uncertainty that the financial markets simply sputtered, causing middle-class citizens to watch their retirement savings dwindle?  And remember the time when Obama didn’t choke down on domestic oil production, thus lowering fuel prices for middle-class Americans?  Neither do I.

The fact is, Obama has no idea what it’s like to be in the middle class.  He’s been coddled most of his life, and now lives in the lap of luxury.  To claim he’s now a warrior for the middle class means one of two things.  Either he’s full of crap, or he’s a miserable failure.

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Just Keep Talking, President O-Blah-Blah Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:17:44 +0000 crybaby-obama

Regular readers of this blog know that we’ve been — shall we say — skeptical about President Øbama‘s much-ballyhooed jobs speech since Obama was still living la dolce vida in Martha’s Vineyard.  Turns out, we’re hardly alone.  First, there was the reaction of the global markets, which basically sucked.  Now, there’s the polling data — which ain’t so hot either.

The Washington Examiner’s Philip Klein has boned up on Gallup’s latest numbers, and reports that they are nicht so gut:

Not only did President Obama fail to get a bounce from his jobs speech to a joint session of Congress, but his approval rating actually declined slightly following last Thursday’s address, according to Gallup.

In the just released Gallup daily tracking poll, which now has three days of polling since the speech was delivered last Thursday (Sept. 9th through 11th), Obama’s approval rating has fallen to 42 percent.

Read the rest here.

So it seems President Ron Burgundy really is just an empty suit, devoid of any creative ideas, a mere fleshy extension of his TelePrompTer.  It’s clear beyond cavil that he didn’t learn a bloody thing after the 2010 midterm “shellacking” that his policies precipitated.  What do you do when your shtick has become tiresome?  How do you react when your combative and childish tactics have run their course?  What’s the proper course of action when your latest “major speech” backfires in your face?  Do you:  (a) recognize your ideological disconnect with the real world and recruit new, more grounded advisors; (b) conciliate with your opponents and pursue a more realistic agenda; or (c) travel all over the country to repeat the very speech that alienated voters and caused market declines around the world?

Dude, this is Obama we’re talking about.  Oh so very fail.

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Congress Must Spend Half a Trill … For the Children Fri, 09 Sep 2011 02:12:53 +0000 ella-diaper-edited

Did baby make a jobs speech? Good baby!

Tonight, President Øbama urged Congress to “stop the political circus and actually do something to help the economy.”  Pooh-pooh him if you will, laugh if you must, but as of today, Fester is convinced that committing $447 billion to put our 14 million unemployed Americans back to work — nearly $32,000 per job ($64,000 if you want to get to a Bush-like 5% unemployment) — is the relief our economy so sorely needs.

You see, it’s recently come to light that the cost of our piss-poor economy is coming out of American babies’ hides — literally.  The NY Daily News gives us the rundown on this crappy situation:

In what could be called “The Pampers Indicator,” U.S. moms spent 9% less on disposable diapers then they did a year earlier despite the fact that birth rates have slipped only slightly. And yet, diaper rash cream sales are up, according to AdAge.

Proof that moms are changing their babies’ diapers less frequently to stretch their budgets, could be in the angry red rash, a likely result of babies sitting too long in soiled diapers.

(Read the rest here.)

That’s right.  Thanks to our sagging economy, American babies are being forced to pack ten pounds of s**t in a five-pound bag.  Not to sound all anal, but frankly, that stinks.  If we don’t wipe out this problem now, the situation could well become explosive.  Indeed, people are fuming already.

Here’s the bottom line:  Will we ever crack the code behind this stagnant economy?  It all Depends on you.  Do America’s babies a solid:  Urge your Congressmen to throw more money around today — it’s for the children.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:43:37 +0000 As we await with puzzled amusement President Øbama’s post-Martha’s-Vineyard “Jobs Speech” — aimed at the unfortunate rabble who can’t afford such extravagances — Fester thought it might be useful to ponder the White House’s previous promises, predictions, and preposterous puffery.  Luckily, Reuters recently made this task very easy in its FACTBOX feature.

"This job is HARD!"

Fester’s attempt to summarize the Reuters article comes after the jump.

Now, to truly understand this summary, you’ll have to forget that the White House is experiencing internal dissonance about whether it can create jobs in the first place. With that giant white elephant out of the way, Fester humbly offers this brief taste of history:

  1. When Obama signed the hallucinogenically named “stimulus” bill in February 2009, he predicted it would “save or create” 3.5 million jobs — and lectured us that unemployment would hit Double-Digit Levels without it.  Shockingly, projects such as getting monkeys stoned on cocaine and promoting cowboy poetry had no salutary effects on the economy.  In fact, the unemployment rate rose from 7.8% to 8.9% in the span of two months.
  2. So Obama did what any rational statesman would do — he doubled the hell down, that’s what he did!  In a speech at Georgetown U., he basically told everyone to cut him a freaking break, brah.  He claimed that the stimulus had reduced taxes for 95% of working families (a type of family that was in danger of disappearing).  Then, for some reason (dope?), he decided to tell auto makers they needed to use greener technology. Incredibly, this titanic strategy failed to pay off — by October 2010, unemployment hit Double-Digit Levels of 10.1%.  (Coincidentally, green-tech cars haven’t done so hot either.)
  3. Ah, but in November 2009, the winds of change finally swept in to lift Obama’s angelic wings.  The nation partied hard, broheim as unemployment fell a staggering two-tenths of a percent to 9.9%.  Obama took full credit for this astounding achievement.  Feeling vindicated, he tripled down in December and showed claimed he’d “saved or created” 1.6 million jobs already.  Sadly, euphoria got the best of him; he veered off-topic again and mumbled something about ”clean energy jobs.”
  4. Still, now things were really turning around!  Obama’s December speech had a huge effect.  By January, lots of people had stopped looking for work – which was totally excellent news because it caused the unemployment rate to drop from 9.9% to 9.7%.  Sensing he had the hot hand, Obama triple-dogged down and again prattled on about those sweet-ass clean-energy jobs.
  5. In January 2010, Obama gave his State-of-the-Union Address.  Riding on a wave of astounding success, he outlined a buttload of cushy new programs — courtesy of your Federal Family – that would surely help a million businesses hire more employees. Then he blamed all his troubles on Bush.
  6. By September 2010, unemployment had dropped precipitously from 9.7% to … 9.6%. (Yeah baby, who’s your daddy now?)  Sadly, however, Obama’s “green jobs czar” had to resign after being exposed as a clown and a communist – boding ill for Obama’s freaking magnificent clean-energy-jobs dream.  But we digress.  At an unintentionally ironic Labor Day rally, Obama outlined a new plan to spend $50 billion on road construction.  Two months later, the Republicans steamrolled him in the 2010 elections.
  7. Last month, during the hilariously ill-conceived bus tour of flyover country, Obama promised to thrust good cheer upon rural businesses with a $350 million infusion for job-search and training programs.  Yet for some reason, his promises to rain money on the heartland’s business landscape did not do the trick.  As we now know, the country added ZERO jobs in August.  Skunked again!

(Read entire Reuters article here.)

So there you have it.  President Obama “inherited” a 7.1% unemployment rate, drove it up past 10%, and currently presides over a 9.1% unemployment rate with no relief in sight, after crapping money from every Federal orifice for almost three years.  Hope and Change™ – just words?  Yup, pretty damn much.

He’s a politician — and as it turns out, not a very good one.  Adjust your expectations accordingly.

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It’s Opposite Day! Sat, 03 Sep 2011 17:39:11 +0000

President Øbama

Answer this question as quickly as you can — don’t think about it:  If Fester raises the price of his lemonade, will you buy more of it, or less?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Incredibly, Professor Alan Krueger thinks just the opposite, at least when it comes to hiring labor.  Professor who, you ask?  You know, President Øbama’s proposed chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors — the administration’s chief economist.  Yeah, that guy!  But here’s the problem, see.  As Spengler points out, Krueger hasn’t the foggiest idea how jobs are actually created:

Back in 1994, after New Jersey raised its minimum wage to $5.05 an hour from $4.25, Krueger (with economist David Card) published a paper claiming that the higher cost of labor led to more rather than less hiring at New Jersey fast food restaurants. Demand curves, as Perry observes, slope downward on this planet (if something costs more, people buy less of it, including labor). But on Planet Krueger, demand curves slope upward, by magic.

Card and Krueger proudly announced the repeal of the most fundamental law of economics: “Our empirical findings challenge the prediction that a rise in the minimum [wage] reduces employment. Relative to stores in Pennsylvania, fast food restaurants increased employment by 13 percent.” Except they didn’t. Their data, gathered by telephone survey, turned out to be “so bad that no credible conclusions can be drawn,” another study concluded. Other economists used actual payroll data instead of a phone survey and found just the opposite: the state-mandated pay hike reduced employment.

Read the whole article here.

I mean, it’s common sense, right?  Not to the good Professor K.  In his world, every day is opposite day:  up is down, hot is cold, and higher labor costs mean more jobs.  Yet this appears to be lost on President Øbama.  According to him, Krueger will bring “a wealth of knowledge to the challenge of creating jobs and promoting economic growth.” 

It’s almost like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.



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Dude. Really. What’s the point? Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:06:31 +0000

U.S. Unemployment - From

Through his long and illustrious brief and humorous career, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has said exactly one thing that makes sense:  “The White House doesn’t create jobs.”  Of course, that was already painfully freaking obvious to non-comatose Americans.  But whatever.

Anyways … Fester was puzzled (and a little sad) when President Obama tossed Carney’s semi-official pronouncement aside and promised yet another speech about how the White House was going to unfurl yet another plan to … create jobs.

Are we saved at last?  Um, no.  Over at Forbes, Merrill Matthews casts serious doubt on the President’s much anticipated speech by recounting the White House’s previous speeches and failed promises:

And even as the president claims he is now laser-focused on job creation, he wants the public to forget all of his previous taxpayer-funded efforts to create mostly those “green jobs” of the future, many of which have been abject failures.

Like the $20 million federal grant given to Seattle to weatherize houses.  The promise?  To create “2,000 living-wage jobs in Seattle and retrofitting 2,000 homes in poorer neighborhoods,” according to the SeattlePI.  The reality a year later, “only three homes had been retrofitted and just 14 new jobs have emerged from the program.”

And so on.  (Read the entire article here.)

Fester is starting to think that George Clooney really is the mimbo we always thought he was, and that Jay Carney is actually the smartest guy in the White House.  He and the President should really talk more.

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