The Morning Spew » jobs Politics, Satire & Spew Sun, 08 Dec 2013 06:28:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 A Tight-Faced Nancy Pelosi Ridicules Jobs Bill Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:39:29 +0000 This video is hilarious.  Can you over botox to the point of speech problems?  I feel like I’m watching a slurpee talk.

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Newt Reaches Out To Young Adults Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:31:24 +0000

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Obama’s Department of Energy sends American jobs to Finland Fri, 21 Oct 2011 19:00:42 +0000  




Truly amazing!!!   The ineptness and failures of this administration are beyond belief.




The Department of Energy is standing by a $529 million loan guarantee to a company building an electric car line in Finland.

A department official, in a lengthy response posted on a government blog Thursday night, confirmed that the company Fisker is assembling its Karma electric car at its “overseas facility.”


Read more:

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Wall Street Protesters Hold Memorial Service For Noted Capitalist Steve Jobs Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:02:46 +0000  

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Is Obama Inciting a Race War? Sun, 25 Sep 2011 15:05:26 +0000 Class Warriors

Class warriors, come out and play!

Any time a conservative talks tough, the Left claims it’s some kind of secret code for getting violent — a “dog whistle.”  But when a leftist overtly calls for violence, these same folks have nothing to say.  So what are we to make of President Obama’s speech to the Congressional Black Caucus yesterday?

Now, Fester understands that President Øbama is in serious trouble.  Every time he opens his mouth, the economy shudders.  (This is what happens when a leftist president seeks to “fundamentally transform” a capitalist society.)  But what’s a president to do if his actions are harming the very middle class for which he claims to be a “warrior”?  Does he:  (1) take a hard look at his policies and find the root cause of their failure; (2) look at previously successful policies and borrow from them; or (3) tell racial minorities to put on their “marching shoes” and rise up those who are “fighting” to “turn back the clock”?  Dude, this is Obama we’re talking about.

According to the AP, Obama donned his full faux Southern accent yesterday and started preachin’, y’all:

In a fiery summons to an important voting block, President Obama told blacks on Saturday to quit crying and complaining and “put on your marching shoes” to follow him into battle for jobs and opportunity.

*  *  *

He acknowledged blacks have suffered mightily because of the recession, and are frustrated that the downturn is taking so long to reverse. “So many people are still hurting. So many people are barely hanging on,” he said, then added: “And so many people in this city are fighting us every step of the way.”

*  *  *

“Take off your bedroom slippers. Put on your marching shoes,” he said, his voice rising as applause and cheers mounted. “Shake it off. Stop complainin’. Stop grumblin’. Stop cryin’. We are going to press on. We have work to do.”

And let there be no mistake about why Obama thinks people are “fighting [him] every step of the way”:

Last year, Obama addressed the same dinner and implored blacks to get out the vote in the midterm elections because Republicans were preparing to “turn back the clock.”

Read the whole story here.

Consider Obama’s vaguely racist vision of African-Americans sitting there in their bedroom slippers, complaining, grumbling, and crying about unemployment.  Also consider his not-so-vague racist vision of whites eagerly plotting to reinstate Jim Crow laws (or who knows what else).  And consider his recent claim that he’s a “warrior for the middle class.”  Now consider the language he chose to use in his speech to the CBC.

What is Obama trying to accomplish?  Does he think that angry marches are going to inspire confidence in the markets?

Until now, this president has been mostly clueless.  But he’s now drifting into very dangerous territory.

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Day of Impotent Rage Brings Many Laughs Mon, 19 Sep 2011 03:45:43 +0000 hippie

Protecting you from the evils of modern finance.

This weekend, the usual bunch of ne’er-do-wells once again failed to teach the world to sing (probably because they smoke too much weed).  Apparently unable to take control of their own finances — and in search of some serious munchies — “hundreds” of smelly, inebriated social misfits decided they’d have a go at shutting down Wall Street.  Because, you know, if everyone can’t be wealthy, no one can.

One big problem, though.  As the NY Times reports, they planned their little anti-commercial offensive for Saturday, which no es bueno:

For months the protesters had planned to descend on Wall Street on a Saturday and occupy parts of it as an expression of anger over a financial system that they say favors the rich and powerful at the expense of ordinary citizens.

As it turned out, the demonstrators found much of their target off limits on Saturday as the city shut down sections of Wall Street near the New York Stock Exchange and Federal Hall well before their arrival.

(Emphasis added.  Read the rest here.)

Ha ha, these mental giants planned their killer super-idiotic protest for months, and it never dawned on them that the major exchanges would be closed on their big day and it’d be pretty easy to make them go away.  This begs a question:  If they know so little about the financial system they claim to despise, why should anyone entertain their silly grievances?

But aggrieved they were, and very serious, too.  They spent the entire day being all strategic and tactical, maneuvering to finally get in place for the big climax.  And the payoff was sweet indeed:

As a chilly darkness descended, a few hundred people realized one of the day’s objectives by setting foot onto Wall Street after a quick march through winding streets, trailed by police scooters.

At William Street, they were blocked from proceeding toward the stock exchange, and the march ended in front of a Greek Revival building housing Cipriani Wall Street. Patrons on a second-floor balcony peered down.

As some of the patrons laughed and raised drinks, the protesters responded by pointing at them and chanting “pay your share.”

How pathetic is this?  Laughably pathetic.  Ridiculously pathetic.  Embarrassingly pathetic.  Not only are these folks incapable of planning a good protest, they can’t muster more than a few hundred people in America’s largest city.  And they were so fearsome that the NYPD followed them on scooters while bar patrons laughed at them.  Not very impressive.

Perhaps they should go back to what they do best:

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Just Keep Talking, President O-Blah-Blah Tue, 13 Sep 2011 13:17:44 +0000 crybaby-obama

Regular readers of this blog know that we’ve been — shall we say — skeptical about President Øbama‘s much-ballyhooed jobs speech since Obama was still living la dolce vida in Martha’s Vineyard.  Turns out, we’re hardly alone.  First, there was the reaction of the global markets, which basically sucked.  Now, there’s the polling data — which ain’t so hot either.

The Washington Examiner’s Philip Klein has boned up on Gallup’s latest numbers, and reports that they are nicht so gut:

Not only did President Obama fail to get a bounce from his jobs speech to a joint session of Congress, but his approval rating actually declined slightly following last Thursday’s address, according to Gallup.

In the just released Gallup daily tracking poll, which now has three days of polling since the speech was delivered last Thursday (Sept. 9th through 11th), Obama’s approval rating has fallen to 42 percent.

Read the rest here.

So it seems President Ron Burgundy really is just an empty suit, devoid of any creative ideas, a mere fleshy extension of his TelePrompTer.  It’s clear beyond cavil that he didn’t learn a bloody thing after the 2010 midterm “shellacking” that his policies precipitated.  What do you do when your shtick has become tiresome?  How do you react when your combative and childish tactics have run their course?  What’s the proper course of action when your latest “major speech” backfires in your face?  Do you:  (a) recognize your ideological disconnect with the real world and recruit new, more grounded advisors; (b) conciliate with your opponents and pursue a more realistic agenda; or (c) travel all over the country to repeat the very speech that alienated voters and caused market declines around the world?

Dude, this is Obama we’re talking about.  Oh so very fail.

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Curb Your Enthusiasm Mon, 05 Sep 2011 12:43:37 +0000 As we await with puzzled amusement President Øbama’s post-Martha’s-Vineyard “Jobs Speech” — aimed at the unfortunate rabble who can’t afford such extravagances — Fester thought it might be useful to ponder the White House’s previous promises, predictions, and preposterous puffery.  Luckily, Reuters recently made this task very easy in its FACTBOX feature.

"This job is HARD!"

Fester’s attempt to summarize the Reuters article comes after the jump.

Now, to truly understand this summary, you’ll have to forget that the White House is experiencing internal dissonance about whether it can create jobs in the first place. With that giant white elephant out of the way, Fester humbly offers this brief taste of history:

  1. When Obama signed the hallucinogenically named “stimulus” bill in February 2009, he predicted it would “save or create” 3.5 million jobs — and lectured us that unemployment would hit Double-Digit Levels without it.  Shockingly, projects such as getting monkeys stoned on cocaine and promoting cowboy poetry had no salutary effects on the economy.  In fact, the unemployment rate rose from 7.8% to 8.9% in the span of two months.
  2. So Obama did what any rational statesman would do — he doubled the hell down, that’s what he did!  In a speech at Georgetown U., he basically told everyone to cut him a freaking break, brah.  He claimed that the stimulus had reduced taxes for 95% of working families (a type of family that was in danger of disappearing).  Then, for some reason (dope?), he decided to tell auto makers they needed to use greener technology. Incredibly, this titanic strategy failed to pay off — by October 2010, unemployment hit Double-Digit Levels of 10.1%.  (Coincidentally, green-tech cars haven’t done so hot either.)
  3. Ah, but in November 2009, the winds of change finally swept in to lift Obama’s angelic wings.  The nation partied hard, broheim as unemployment fell a staggering two-tenths of a percent to 9.9%.  Obama took full credit for this astounding achievement.  Feeling vindicated, he tripled down in December and showed claimed he’d “saved or created” 1.6 million jobs already.  Sadly, euphoria got the best of him; he veered off-topic again and mumbled something about ”clean energy jobs.”
  4. Still, now things were really turning around!  Obama’s December speech had a huge effect.  By January, lots of people had stopped looking for work – which was totally excellent news because it caused the unemployment rate to drop from 9.9% to 9.7%.  Sensing he had the hot hand, Obama triple-dogged down and again prattled on about those sweet-ass clean-energy jobs.
  5. In January 2010, Obama gave his State-of-the-Union Address.  Riding on a wave of astounding success, he outlined a buttload of cushy new programs — courtesy of your Federal Family – that would surely help a million businesses hire more employees. Then he blamed all his troubles on Bush.
  6. By September 2010, unemployment had dropped precipitously from 9.7% to … 9.6%. (Yeah baby, who’s your daddy now?)  Sadly, however, Obama’s “green jobs czar” had to resign after being exposed as a clown and a communist – boding ill for Obama’s freaking magnificent clean-energy-jobs dream.  But we digress.  At an unintentionally ironic Labor Day rally, Obama outlined a new plan to spend $50 billion on road construction.  Two months later, the Republicans steamrolled him in the 2010 elections.
  7. Last month, during the hilariously ill-conceived bus tour of flyover country, Obama promised to thrust good cheer upon rural businesses with a $350 million infusion for job-search and training programs.  Yet for some reason, his promises to rain money on the heartland’s business landscape did not do the trick.  As we now know, the country added ZERO jobs in August.  Skunked again!

(Read entire Reuters article here.)

So there you have it.  President Obama “inherited” a 7.1% unemployment rate, drove it up past 10%, and currently presides over a 9.1% unemployment rate with no relief in sight, after crapping money from every Federal orifice for almost three years.  Hope and Change™ – just words?  Yup, pretty damn much.

He’s a politician — and as it turns out, not a very good one.  Adjust your expectations accordingly.

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It’s Opposite Day! Sat, 03 Sep 2011 17:39:11 +0000

President Øbama

Answer this question as quickly as you can — don’t think about it:  If Fester raises the price of his lemonade, will you buy more of it, or less?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Incredibly, Professor Alan Krueger thinks just the opposite, at least when it comes to hiring labor.  Professor who, you ask?  You know, President Øbama’s proposed chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors — the administration’s chief economist.  Yeah, that guy!  But here’s the problem, see.  As Spengler points out, Krueger hasn’t the foggiest idea how jobs are actually created:

Back in 1994, after New Jersey raised its minimum wage to $5.05 an hour from $4.25, Krueger (with economist David Card) published a paper claiming that the higher cost of labor led to more rather than less hiring at New Jersey fast food restaurants. Demand curves, as Perry observes, slope downward on this planet (if something costs more, people buy less of it, including labor). But on Planet Krueger, demand curves slope upward, by magic.

Card and Krueger proudly announced the repeal of the most fundamental law of economics: “Our empirical findings challenge the prediction that a rise in the minimum [wage] reduces employment. Relative to stores in Pennsylvania, fast food restaurants increased employment by 13 percent.” Except they didn’t. Their data, gathered by telephone survey, turned out to be “so bad that no credible conclusions can be drawn,” another study concluded. Other economists used actual payroll data instead of a phone survey and found just the opposite: the state-mandated pay hike reduced employment.

Read the whole article here.

I mean, it’s common sense, right?  Not to the good Professor K.  In his world, every day is opposite day:  up is down, hot is cold, and higher labor costs mean more jobs.  Yet this appears to be lost on President Øbama.  According to him, Krueger will bring “a wealth of knowledge to the challenge of creating jobs and promoting economic growth.” 

It’s almost like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.



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Dude. Really. What’s the point? Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:06:31 +0000

U.S. Unemployment - From

Through his long and illustrious brief and humorous career, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has said exactly one thing that makes sense:  “The White House doesn’t create jobs.”  Of course, that was already painfully freaking obvious to non-comatose Americans.  But whatever.

Anyways … Fester was puzzled (and a little sad) when President Obama tossed Carney’s semi-official pronouncement aside and promised yet another speech about how the White House was going to unfurl yet another plan to … create jobs.

Are we saved at last?  Um, no.  Over at Forbes, Merrill Matthews casts serious doubt on the President’s much anticipated speech by recounting the White House’s previous speeches and failed promises:

And even as the president claims he is now laser-focused on job creation, he wants the public to forget all of his previous taxpayer-funded efforts to create mostly those “green jobs” of the future, many of which have been abject failures.

Like the $20 million federal grant given to Seattle to weatherize houses.  The promise?  To create “2,000 living-wage jobs in Seattle and retrofitting 2,000 homes in poorer neighborhoods,” according to the SeattlePI.  The reality a year later, “only three homes had been retrofitted and just 14 new jobs have emerged from the program.”

And so on.  (Read the entire article here.)

Fester is starting to think that George Clooney really is the mimbo we always thought he was, and that Jay Carney is actually the smartest guy in the White House.  He and the President should really talk more.

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