The Morning Spew » unemployment Politics, Satire & Spew Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:58:25 +0000 en hourly 1 With Obama, It’s Middle Class or No Class at All Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:54:56 +0000 Fester Boyle obama-samurai

Working-class ninja.

“Hey everybody, the Republicans say I’m engaging in class warfare!  Ha ha, silly Republicans.  BTW you guys, I’m a warrior for the middle class!”

So went President Obama’s recent speech in Cincinnati.  See the video here, at RealClearPolitics.  Let’s put aside the internal incoherence of Obama’s argument.  Let’s put aside the shameless and painfully obvious pandering that’s going on here.  Let’s look at the record instead.

Remember the time when the Obama administration didn’t raid the Gibson Guitar factories?  Remember how the craftsmen weren’t idled, and middle-class employees weren’t threatened with jail time?  Remember when Obama didn’t suggest that Joe the Plumber would  suddenly become rich once his business made more than $250K a year, and that he’d need to spread the “wealth” around?  Remember how well the middle class fared when Obama kept making speeches while unemployment didn’t stagnate and middle-class people had a nearly unprecedented number of new jobs?  Remember how Obama didn’t want to limit or obliterate the home-mortgage deduction on federal income taxes?  Remember when Obama didn’t seek to impose crushing overregulation on businesses, so they could hire more middle-class workers and lower unemployment?  Remember when Obama’s policies didn’t create such uncertainty that the financial markets simply sputtered, causing middle-class citizens to watch their retirement savings dwindle?  And remember the time when Obama didn’t choke down on domestic oil production, thus lowering fuel prices for middle-class Americans?  Neither do I.

The fact is, Obama has no idea what it’s like to be in the middle class.  He’s been coddled most of his life, and now lives in the lap of luxury.  To claim he’s now a warrior for the middle class means one of two things.  Either he’s full of crap, or he’s a miserable failure.

]]> 1
Day of Impotent Rage Brings Many Laughs Mon, 19 Sep 2011 03:45:43 +0000 Fester Boyle hippie

Protecting you from the evils of modern finance.

This weekend, the usual bunch of ne’er-do-wells once again failed to teach the world to sing (probably because they smoke too much weed).  Apparently unable to take control of their own finances — and in search of some serious munchies — “hundreds” of smelly, inebriated social misfits decided they’d have a go at shutting down Wall Street.  Because, you know, if everyone can’t be wealthy, no one can.

One big problem, though.  As the NY Times reports, they planned their little anti-commercial offensive for Saturday, which no es bueno:

For months the protesters had planned to descend on Wall Street on a Saturday and occupy parts of it as an expression of anger over a financial system that they say favors the rich and powerful at the expense of ordinary citizens.

As it turned out, the demonstrators found much of their target off limits on Saturday as the city shut down sections of Wall Street near the New York Stock Exchange and Federal Hall well before their arrival.

(Emphasis added.  Read the rest here.)

Ha ha, these mental giants planned their killer super-idiotic protest for months, and it never dawned on them that the major exchanges would be closed on their big day and it’d be pretty easy to make them go away.  This begs a question:  If they know so little about the financial system they claim to despise, why should anyone entertain their silly grievances?

But aggrieved they were, and very serious, too.  They spent the entire day being all strategic and tactical, maneuvering to finally get in place for the big climax.  And the payoff was sweet indeed:

As a chilly darkness descended, a few hundred people realized one of the day’s objectives by setting foot onto Wall Street after a quick march through winding streets, trailed by police scooters.

At William Street, they were blocked from proceeding toward the stock exchange, and the march ended in front of a Greek Revival building housing Cipriani Wall Street. Patrons on a second-floor balcony peered down.

As some of the patrons laughed and raised drinks, the protesters responded by pointing at them and chanting “pay your share.”

How pathetic is this?  Laughably pathetic.  Ridiculously pathetic.  Embarrassingly pathetic.  Not only are these folks incapable of planning a good protest, they can’t muster more than a few hundred people in America’s largest city.  And they were so fearsome that the NYPD followed them on scooters while bar patrons laughed at them.  Not very impressive.

Perhaps they should go back to what they do best:

]]> 3
Dude. Really. What’s the point? Fri, 02 Sep 2011 17:06:31 +0000 Fester Boyle

U.S. Unemployment - From

Through his long and illustrious brief and humorous career, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney has said exactly one thing that makes sense:  “The White House doesn’t create jobs.”  Of course, that was already painfully freaking obvious to non-comatose Americans.  But whatever.

Anyways … Fester was puzzled (and a little sad) when President Obama tossed Carney’s semi-official pronouncement aside and promised yet another speech about how the White House was going to unfurl yet another plan to … create jobs.

Are we saved at last?  Um, no.  Over at Forbes, Merrill Matthews casts serious doubt on the President’s much anticipated speech by recounting the White House’s previous speeches and failed promises:

And even as the president claims he is now laser-focused on job creation, he wants the public to forget all of his previous taxpayer-funded efforts to create mostly those “green jobs” of the future, many of which have been abject failures.

Like the $20 million federal grant given to Seattle to weatherize houses.  The promise?  To create “2,000 living-wage jobs in Seattle and retrofitting 2,000 homes in poorer neighborhoods,” according to the SeattlePI.  The reality a year later, “only three homes had been retrofitted and just 14 new jobs have emerged from the program.”

And so on.  (Read the entire article here.)

Fester is starting to think that George Clooney really is the mimbo we always thought he was, and that Jay Carney is actually the smartest guy in the White House.  He and the President should really talk more.

]]> 1